Child custody orders are often necessary for the protection of parental relationships. They also help ensure stability for the children in a shared custody scenario. Parents may spend quite a bit of time trying to find ways to share parental rights and responsibilities with each other.
When they can’t reach an agreement on their own, then they need to go to court. The judge can look over family circumstances and try to determine what might be in the best interests of the children. Whether parents reach an agreement through negotiations with one another or have a judge set the terms for their custody arrangements, the custody order establishes their schedule for parenting responsibilities.
Families frequently outgrow their initial custody orders and have to make changes. Some parents try to make adjustments on a case-by-case basis. That may not necessarily be the right solution. The more frequently parents need to change custody arrangements, the greater the likelihood that a modification is necessary.
Why are informal custody adjustments not the best solution?
The risk of parental conflict
Parents who share custody may find that they disagree about what is fair and reasonable when they need to make changes to their schedule. The more frequently parents have to adjust custody arrangements, the more likely they are to become embroiled in conflict with one another. Constantly needing to email, call each other or text about custody matters can create opportunities for unnecessary conflict. By officially modifying the custody order to better reflect current family circumstances, the parents can diminish the need to revisit the matter frequently. They can avoid unnecessary arguments by pursuing a formal modification.
The risk of enforcement actions
Another reason that a formal modification is important is that informal adjustments don’t protect the parents. In high-conflict scenarios, one parent might weaponize the courts or even the police against the other. They may try to claim the other parent hasn’t fulfilled their responsibilities and might ask for a modification of custody or child support as a result. They might ask the courts to enforce the current custody order. They might even report a parental kidnapping despite verbally agreeing to change custody exchange times and other family arrangements. The state typically defers to the custody order approved by the courts when dealing with allegations of serious custody violations.
Parents can either work cooperatively to handle custody issues or they can return to court in pursuit of a judge’s review and input. Making the decision to formally change a custody order can be the best option available for parents with outdated custody orders. Formal modifications take time but can be beneficial under a variety of circumstances.